


Why

by ayma_nidiot



Category: Free!
Genre: I've never given so much attention to the Rin-Haru BROTP O_O, M/M, makoharu - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-02-17
Packaged: 2018-05-17 17:59:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5880358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayma_nidiot/pseuds/ayma_nidiot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"But I can’t tell him… I just can’t… He’ll hate me for sure."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. No Shame

“That was an even better practice than usual!” Gou couldn’t help but admire the work of the swim club. “If you keep that up, we just might stand a chance in the nationals.”

“Good enough to not subject us to that protein powder again?” Rei whined.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah… Anything you say. And good enough to call it a day, certainly.” Gou looked at Haru, who still floated carefree in the pool. “Though it seems like dolphin guy over here doesn’t want to call it a day.”

“That’s right, I don’t,” Haru spoke, not moving from his face-up position in the pool. “You don’t have to wait on me; you can go on ahead, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

“Okay!” Nagisa spoke happily as Gou, Rei, and Amakata-sensei were already ahead of him. “In that case, see ‘ya later, Haru-chan!”

“Wait… Um, Nagisa?” Makoto spoke nervously as he stopped Nagisa just shy of the locker room. “Can I have a word with you?”

“Ah, Mako-chan!” Nagisa gave his _sempai_ a playful hug. “You were great out there today! …So why do you look worried?”

“It’s… It’s about Haru… I’ve been thinking about him a lot more than usual lately – even when we’re not in the same room. And when we _are_ , I… When he gets close to me, I…” Makoto fidgeted about. “I can feel my heart racing, and I suddenly feel happier for no reason, and I-”

Makoto certainly would have continued to speak more, if Nagisa hadn’t interrupted him with a loud bout of laughing. “H-Hey, this is serious! Why would you laugh at something like this?”

“Oh, maaaaaan, Mako-chan!” Nagisa tried to speak through short giggles. “I almost feel sorry for Haru-chan, because you’re so dense!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“I can’t believe you’ve been in love with Haru-chan this whole time without realizing it!”

“Me? In love with Haru – another _guy?!_ ” Makoto began to laugh. “That’s absolutely ridiculous.”

“Oh, cut the crap! I’ve seen the way you look at him and act around him… And that look of yours says that you don’t give a hoot that he’s a guy. Admit it, Mako-chan, you love him.”

Makoto, realizing how accurate Nagisa was, sighed as he finally relented. “Okay, okay… Thanks, Nagisa… That’s all, I guess.”

“Anytime! Now, about the fireworks tonight… You’ll be there for that, right?”

“I never go back on my word, do I?”

“Yay! Good luck with him!” Nagisa gave his _sempai_ a mischievous wink before heading into the locker room to steal Rei’s goggles – much to the bluenet’s chagrin.

After a long while of contemplating these new thoughts, Makoto looked at Haru before heading on in. _But I can’t tell him… I just can’t… He’ll hate me for sure._

* * *

 

“Makoto?” a nearby voice called to him.

“N-No…” Makoto whimpered in his sleep. “Don’t…”

“Makoto, hey!”

“No!” Makoto sprung awake – finding himself on his living room floor, of all places, and with Haru right in front of him. “Oh… Thank the gods it was only a dream.”

“I dare not ask what it was about, then. We shouldn’t waste anymore time here, unless we want to be late.”

“Yeah, you’re right…” Makoto took the arm that Haru offered him. He certainly didn’t forget the moment, however, as most of the night passed with little more than the occasional “oohs” and “ahs” from Nagisa. And every time anyone tried to talk to him, Makoto simply responded with an uninterested, “Mmm” before staring off into the deep, lantern-lit night.

“Makoto…” Haru spoke up, as if to ask the brunet what was wrong – that was, until Rei interrupted him.

“Haruka-sempai… You look like you’ve got something on your mind.”

“Hmm? Where did that come from? I’m perfectly fine, really.”

“Nagisa-kun and I noticed during today’s practice that… Well, you weren’t really yourself.”

Haru instantly took on a defensive tone. “Please, Rei, if it’s about my performance at regionals-”

“…It’s about the scouts, isn’t it. You hate the pressure they and the rest of the world are putting on you, don’t you?”

“…” Haru only watched the lanterns mindlessly, hoping that Rei would soon leave him alone. “…I don’t care about them.”

“But Haruka-sempai! If lots of people were able to see your swimming and be moved like us, and wish they could swim like you, too…” Rei’s voice became less animated. “I couldn’t imagine anything more wonderful.”

 _He’s not going to give me the time of day, is he?_ Without giving his friends another word, Haru wandered off – never mind the direction.

Makoto was the only one who dared to follow. “Haru, wait! Where are you going?”

“Far, far away – from _you_ ,” Haru emphasized with resentment as he and Makoto chanced upon a high balcony.

“You can’t run away from this!” Makoto shouted, stopping Haru in his tracks. “Don’t you even care about your own future?”

“Just drop it already…” Haru could feel anger brewing within him. “You’re not my parent, so stop acting like you are.”

“Is it so wrong for friends to be concerned for one another?”

“Maybe not, but it _is_ wrong for you to stick your nose in other people’s business when you’re not asked!” At this point, Haru couldn’t contain his frustration anymore, grabbing Makoto by the shirt and pinning him to the rails. “Why can’t you give me space when I ask for it? Why do _you_ care about what I do with my future?”

Makoto suddenly softened his stance, not even trying to resist Haru’s anger. “I… I can’t say it…”

“Hah! You have the gall to be nosy about my personal life, but you can’t even tell me why. Pathetic.” Annoyed, Haru finally lowered Makoto to the ground as he began to run away.

“H-Haru…” Makoto collapsed to his knees, and for a time, he remained as such. “What… What have I done…”

After expending a lot of energy in his anger, Haru had no desire to do anything but spend the rest of the night – and the following morning – curled up in his bed. But whomever it was that rung the doorbell now would not let him do that.

“Ugh…” Haru groaned as he got up from the bed to open the front door. “No, Makoto, I don’t want to talk to you toda- Rin…? What are you doing here?”

Not even bothering to explain himself, Rin spoke, “Pack your things; we’re going.”

“Eh? Going…? But to where?”

“You’ll see. Somewhere to… get your mind off of things.” Rin gave his friend a reassuring smile.

“Oh…” From those words, Haru felt some sense of relief, and easily gave in to Rin’s request. “Yes, of course… In that case, thank you.”

With no further questions, Haru packed lightly before setting off with Rin, a sense of hope in his heart.

* * *

 

“Yo, Haru.” Rin shook his friend awake when the plane landed. “Hahaha… I’m surprised you managed to fall asleep – and for such a short flight, no less.”

“We’re here already…?” Haru groggily asked as he and Rin left the plane. Almost immediately, a plethora of indecipherable signs and foreign people greeted him. “I… I don’t know if…”

“…you’re going to like it here?” Rin gave Haru a smile of reassurance. “Don’t worry, of course you will! Because you’re going to love where I’m about to take you next.”

Haru dare not ask where as Rin led him past busy streets, saying hello to just about anyone he met. _It’s as if he knows everyone here… He seems really relaxed._ “Rin? Aren’t we going a… little bit out of the way?”

“Of course!” Rin replied as the pair walked through a small forest. “Oceans are naturally some distance from civilization, aren’t they?”

“Ah…” As soon as they cleared the forest, Haru could feel a breeze upon his face and hear the cry of the seagulls. “I’m surprised you knew how to find it so easily.”

“Well, it’s not like it’s my first time being here.” Rin ran ahead, splashing onto the cool ocean water. “During my stay in Australia, back when I went to the swimming school, I would come here often when I wanted to get my mind off of things… I figured it would work for you, too.”

“I… I suppose it couldn’t hurt to try…” Now that he was far from many people – and in such beautiful scenery, no less – Haru didn’t feel a need to put up a poker face anymore.

“Haru…” Rin sat beside his friend on the shore. “You had a fight with Makoto, didn’t you?”

“You could tell right away, huh…” Haru pulled his knees into his chest.

“You want to talk about it?” Rin, knowing how touchy the subject was, asked in an amiable tone.

“He… He wanted to know what I was going to do with my future… And I lashed out at him, saying how nosy he was. But when I think about it, he was only worried for me…” Haru’s tone became gloomy. “Dear gods… I really think I hurt him – and I regret it so much.”

“…You love him, don’t you?”

Those words snapped Haru out of his thoughts. “Er… What?”

“That’s why this whole fight has weighed on your mind… And for that reason, you’re too afraid to go see him.”

“That’s not true! I… I don’t…”

“Being in love with your best friend is nothing to be ashamed of, Haru. And if you want to mend your relationship with him, you should go and apologize to him properly. You don’t want to be bickering with him forever, do you?”

“N-No…”

“Then after this trip, when we go back to Japan, go find him and apologize.” Rin patted Haru on the shoulder. “And if anything bad happens, you’ve got my shoulder to cry on.”

“Thank you…” Haru returned the gesture, and with Rin’s reassuring words, his glum mood went away. “Thank you, Rin… I will.”

* * *

 

“Why… Why did I come out here again?” Makoto spoke in a weak voice as he stared from the balcony. The ocean he stared into and the weather were calm, but that didn’t stop him from being any less anxious. “If… I don’t leave soon, Haru could… He’ll… come here again, and I… would have to tell him... I guess… I really _do_ love him, don’t I?”

Makoto could have sworn he was alone on that night – so the sudden sound of another person’s voice certainly shocked him. “Ah… I should have known I’d find you here.”

“Eek!” Makoto turned around – and instantly saw the last person he wanted to see. “Haru… I thought you were supposed to be with Rin in Australia. That certainly wasn’t a very long trip.”

“Yeah, well…” Haru felt so awkward that he didn’t even know where to begin. “I went there to have… certain problems sorted out. And now that that’s taken care of, I feel better enough to come back.”

“I… I see…” Makoto, too, was at a loss for words – and for a time, he simply stared at Haru in silence. _Come on, say something – anything – to him!_ “I’m… so sorry… I’m so sorry I got angry at you…”

“It’s okay… I admit, I kind of overreacted, too. Just know that whatever’s on your mind, whatever’s troubling you, I’m willing to help.”

“But… If you ever knew, I’d…” Makoto started to panic. “I… I can’t even think of what could…”

“Makoto, what kind of secret would you have to have that you can’t even tell _me?_ ” Haru laughed. “It’s not like you killed anyone!”

“N-No… It’s way worse…”

“What could be worse than you killing someone?” Haru approached Makoto even more closely.

“No! Please…” Makoto cried even harder now as his nightmare began to resurface. “Please… don’t make me say such an awful thing…”

“So… You were hurting, too…” Haru spoke as he took Makoto’s face into his hands and wiped a few tears. “If… If that’s the case, then… I’ll…”

“Haru…?” Makoto stopped crying.

“Dear gods… Please, forgive me for this thing I’m about to do…” Fighting every instinct that told him “no,” Haru gently pulled Makoto’s face towards his own for a kiss.

 _Oh…_ Shocked that Haru would do such a thing, Makoto didn’t even move – he merely stood there, contemplating that very moment. _This… I_ must _be dreaming… This isn’t really happening… is it?_

Before Makoto could make a movement, Haru suddenly pushed him away, breaking the kiss and saying, “I’m… such an idiot…” before running as fast as he could away from Makoto.

“Haru, where are you going?” Being rather quick on his feet, Makoto didn’t take long to catch up with Haru and grab him by the wrist. “What is the meaning of this?”

“L-Leave me alone!” Haru shouted angrily, his face now full of tears. “Admit it, you hate me now! I bet you find me so disgusting that you wish you never associated with me!”

“Haru, why?” Makoto was beyond confused.

“Why? Why did I do what I did? _Why do I feel the way I do?!”_ Haru spoke through gritted teeth. “Since you’ll hate me either way, I’ll tell you why, Makoto… I love you! I’ve loved you since we were kids! Even in the Australia trip with Rin, all I could think about was how sorry I was for making you mad, how much I wanted to return to you… and how ashamed I was to have feelings for another guy – and a teammate, no less. B-But go on… Hate me, disparage me, tell me how vile I am… I deserve it.”

Makoto stood in astonishment, contemplating the overwhelming information he just heard, before saying, “No, that’s not it at all, Haru… _Why_ did you run away from me just now? Why do you feel so ashamed?”

“Because… If I ever told you about my feelings, it would create a rift in our long friendship – a friendship that I cherished so much… I… couldn’t lose that…”

A firm hug from Makoto calmed Haru down. “So I wasn’t the only one who felt that way…”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“What I mean, Haru, is that you don’t have to feel ashamed – because I love you, too. Ever since we starting swimming together as kids, I knew I loved swimming… But what made it even more enjoyable was that you were there. I didn’t quite realize it at the time, but I recently realized why… Even back then, I slowly started to fall in love with you.” Makoto now took Haru’s face in his hands, stroking the tear-streaked face. “I could never, ever hate the one who means the world to me, the one whom I adore with all my heart.”

“Th-Thank you, dear gods above…” Haru looked to the sky. “Thank you for blessing me with such a wonderful man…”

“ _I’m_ the one who should be counting his blessings,” spoke Makoto before giving Haru another kiss and hugging him.

“Makoto? Can we just stay like this a while?”

“Yes, of course.” Makoto smiled.

In the midst of that silent night, Haru thought of nothing but Makoto. The other man held him so close that Haru could hear and feel Makoto’s heartbeat. _His heart is beating so fast…_ he thought as he buried his face into Makoto’s shoulder, taking in his pleasant scent. _Oh, gods, I don’t want this moment to end._

Unfortunately for Haru, the moment _would_ end – in a rather silly manner. “Aaaaaaaaaah!” a familiar voice cried. “I knew it! I knew there was something going on between those two!”

“Gou-san, you’re embarrassing them,” Rei scolded. “And anyway, we should probably leave them to themselves, don’t you think?”

“Um, guys…?” Makoto spoke up. “Shouldn’t you be resting? We have a national tournament tomorrow, after all.”

“But we’re just out having a good time! Most of the other swimming clubs are, too.” Nagisa looked at his _sempais_ with a smile. “And I see _you’re_ having a good time, too.”

“Aww!” Gou cooed. “You look soooo cute together!”

“Um… Thanks?” Haru laughed nervously.

“Oh, but where are my manners.” Gou gestured for the others to leave. “How rude of us to just interrupt your guys’ date. We should get going now, guys!”

“Hahaha…” Makoto waved at his clubmates as he held Haru by the hand and began walking. “We ought to go back to the hotel and rest up for the tourney tomorrow, don’t you think?”

“Oh, absolutely. But…”

“What, is something wrong?”

“No, I’m just surprised at how… accepting everyone was, that’s all. If they weren’t… well, I’m not sure what I’d do.”

“Well, I know _I_ would have-” Makoto didn’t finish his thought, for no sooner had he passed a great plaza, he suddenly encountered Rin. “Rin…? What are you doing here?”

“I’ve decided to take the Samezuka swim team to a fancy restaurant nearby. I was just about to head back early to rest…” It was just then that Rin noticed that Makoto held Haru’s hand.

“Ah…” Makoto instantly began to feel a sense of apprehension.

“So, you’re in _that_ kind of relationship with Haru now, huh…”

“…” Makoto glared at Rin for a while before saying, “Rin… I know what you’re probably thinking. ‘I can’t believe two of my best friends are actually lovers.’ …Well, I have just one thing to say to you, Rin. I love Haru, and I wouldn’t trade him for the world. Now… If you’ll excuse us.”

“Wait!” Rin didn’t even have a moment to say another word to the couple as they quickly made their way back. Smiling, he headed in the opposite direction to his own hotel. “Haru, you’ve mended your relationship with him already... I’m glad you love the result.”

Meanwhile, Makoto and Haru had just arrived at their hotel – which was, to their fortune, relatively quiet. A bit annoyed at how Makoto reacted to Rin, Haru spoke, “You didn’t need to go and do that… Rin’s a good friend of ours; I’m sure he accepted our relationship just as easily as the others did.”

“…” Makoto looked to the floor in shame. “…You’re right. I just… I was a bit worried, because… because…”

“You’re worried about how a relationship like ours would be accepted in the world, aren’t you?” Haru asked as they entered the hall leading to their hotel room.

“I... Well, yeah. What if, say, the people at the swim tournament – or those scouts – learn that you’re in a relationship with another guy? Wouldn’t it affect your career?”

“Makoto, I’m telling you right now that it won’t affect a thing. Because I don’t care what all of those people say… I don’t care if the entire world knows about our relationship. I’m not ashamed anymore, because I’m proud to call such a wonderful man mine.”

“I’m proud, too…” Makoto wrapped an arm around Haru’s shoulders as they entered the hotel room.

“But there _is_ one thing I care about, and that’s having a great relay with our friends tomorrow.”


	2. No Fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am soooooo sorry for not updating this fic in a while! I had an exam at school, you see.

_“Yay! We did it!” Nagisa huddled his winning teammates together as the crowd cheered._

_Nagisa’s cheerfulness quickly spread as Haru, too, relished this victory with an unusually bright smile. “Aww, I love you guys!”_

_“I bet I love you more.” Makoto smiled as he spoke – almost as if to draw attention to himself._

_Rei, sensing a particular atmosphere form between the boyfriends, pulled Nagisa to the side and spoke, “Why don’t we let them have a minute?”_

_“But what’s the point, when there are so many people watching them anyway?” Nagisa whined._

_“You’re going to give them some space, that’s the point.” Rei rolled his eyes as from some distance, he watched the exchanges between Makoto and Haru._

_“Haru…” Makoto hugged Haru close to him, spurring a few squeals here and there from the crowd. “Let it be known to all people watching us that you’re my one true love.”_

_“Hohohoho!” Momotarou, who also had been watching, whistled. “That’s very bold of Makoto-san, isn’t it?”_

_“I… I suppose so…” Nitori could only smile in response._

_“Of course, Makoto…” Haru hugged his boyfriend back. “After all, I_ want _people to know!”_

So were Haru’s thoughts as he poised himself for the 100m freestyle with a strong resolve.

* * *

 

 _Using my excused absences for university is going to be so worth it,_ Makoto thought as he stared out of the plane window with a smile on his face.

The old man sitting next to Makoto took note of his joyous expression. “You look happy, young man! What brings you to Australia?”

“There’s… something important I have to do,” Makoto replied with resolve. “And I need to go to the Olympic swimming event in Sidney today to do it.”

The old man studied Makoto’s face for a short while before saying, “Hey, you were part of the national-winning high school swimming team last year in Japan, weren’t you? Going to see your old teammate?”

“Yes…” Makoto’s smile grew even wider as the plane began to descend. “Yes, I am.”

* * *

 

“And yet another amazing performance by the Japanese Olympic swimming team!” One of the Olympic announcers shouted to a crowd of excited spectators. “This is the best I’ve seen of them in years!”

“I agree!” a fellow announcer concurred. “I’m surprised that the two newcomers – Rin Matsuoka and Haruka Nanase – could do so well! …Or maybe not so surprised, after their show at last year’s Japanese national swim tournament! Many people across the world are watching this Olympic tournament… I think the whole globe has high expectations for these two!”

“You are totally ri-” The other announcer certainly would have continued, if he didn’t notice a stranger walk onto the pool deck as if out of nowhere. “Hmm? Who is that? I didn’t know that spectators could walk onto the deck like that!”

Back on the pool deck, Haru still remained in the water – and despite his shortness of breath, he could only smile. “So, Rin, how was _that?_ ”

“Not bad, not bad at all!” Rin shared his teammate’s hearty laugh from above. “After what you showed the world just now, I think I’d be seriously wrong to underestimate you now!”

“Yes, that’s right! You’re already taking the world by storm!” a familiar voice cut in.

“Hmm? You don’t sound like one of my teammates…” Haru sounded perplexed as he looked up to see a hand reaching out to him. “Ah…”

“It’s been a while since I’ve done this for you, hasn’t it?”

“Makoto? What are you doing here?” Haru asked as Makoto helped him out of the water. “How were you even allowed down here?”

“I told the owner of this venue that I knew you well. And of course he believed me – he saw Iwatobi’s national run on television, after all. But that’s not important…”

“Oh? Then what is?” Haru gave Makoto an interested look.

“Do you remember how you said that you don’t care if the whole world knows about our relationship? Well, the whole world is about to learn about it in quite a big way…”

“How big could that way possibly be?” Haru laughed. “Especially since so many people saw what happened at last year’s nationals.”

Makoto’s voice turned serious – though he still maintained a gentle expression. “I don’t care how different our career paths are… I don’t care if the whole world thinks me weird for doing this… Haru, I love you with everything I have, and I couldn’t be more proud to call you mine. And if you could grant me this one wish, I would be the happiest person in the world…”

As the whole stadium fell silent, Makoto reached for a small box in his pocket and fell to his right knee. He then opened the box to reveal a silver ring decorated with emeralds and sapphires. “Nanase Haruka… Will you marry me?”

At these words, Haru fell to his knees and immediately began crying.

“H-Haru?!” Makoto felt embarrassed. “Is something wrong?”

“What could possibly be wrong about being so incredibly happy?” Haru spoke through tears of joy as he offered Makoto his left ring finger. “Yes!”

The crowd erupted in cheers as one of the announcers cried, “Oh my gods, can you believe _this?!_ Such a daring display of love from Nanase’s old teammate!”

Watching the event on television from a popular sports bar in San Francisco, a crowd of spectators admired it in awe. Despite being a fully-grown man, the owner of the bar shed his own tears of joy. “So beautiful…”

Feeling a bit embarrassed to interrupt the newly engaged couple’s moment of bliss, Rin weakly spoke up, “Makoto, I just have one thing to say to you…”

“Y-Yes?”

“Please, take good care of Haru, you hear? He’s like a brother to me.”

“Hehehe… You got it!” Makoto gave his friend a high five.

“And you do realize that the sports world isn’t completely accepting of gays… right?” Rin asked out of concern.

“Yes, I know.” Holding onto Makoto’s hand firmly, Haru looked to the sky with a grin on his face. “But hey, there’s always got to be a first one, right? And with my teammates, my friends, and my loved ones at my side… I have no fear.”


End file.
